


Selfish

by write_your_way_out



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drabble, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 23:11:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10627113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/write_your_way_out/pseuds/write_your_way_out
Summary: Ymir questions what it means to be selfish, and wonders if she'll ever overcome it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing SNK fanfic. I hope I did the characters justice! This is just a one-shot, but I have longer fics planned for the future. You can follow me on Tumblr for updates @shingeki-no-survivors.

“Are you kidding me? We’re not ‘fine’!” Ymir’s fingers curled into fists. The handles of her blades bit into her palm. For once, the smirk on her face quaked uncertainly. 

Krista set a hand on her arm. Her touch was delicate, her face a fragile mosaic of misguided hope. “Ymir-”

Ymir yanked her arm out of Krista’s grip. “Are you blind? Look around us. Take a real, honest look at where we are and tell me we’re going to be fine.”

“Hey!” Connie stepped forward and tensed his muscles. “There’s no need to be rude! Don’t you see we’re in a bad enough situation as it is?”

Poor Connie. He wasn’t blind or deafened by hope like Krista. He was just an idiot. Ymir sighed. From their vantage point on a Trost rooftop, she could see as far as a bird. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Connie may be dumb, but he wasn’t wrong this time. The evacuation bells clanged in the distance and for a split second, Ymir wished she was with the rear guard helping the evacuation. She would be safe there. But Krista…could she trust Krista to survive without her supervision?

The hole in Wall Rose still smoldered. A boulder the size of a titan had crushed a house near the entrance. Ymir hoped no one had been inside. Not even she was that heartless. Titans advanced from every angle, filling the streets and sidewalks. Some walked with a staggering gait. The nearest one had lost an arm, steam curling off of the wound. Its mouth was covered in blood and a piece of fabric was stuck between its teeth.

One look at the mindless titan and Ymir couldn’t move. The air escaped from her lungs in a hushed gasp. Everything ground to a halt, and suddenly she was a little kid outside the walls again. Being a titan inhibited one’s memory, but if there was one thing Ymir could remember, it was the look on his face.

The way Marcel looked at her for the minute he was in her hand, how terrified he was. He’d tried to fight her off, hitting her hand with tiny human fists, but it was no good. Ymir’s jaw ached as her mindless titan chomped down on him. 

Her eyelids fluttered closed as bile rose in her throat. The bitter taste of iron flooded her mouth. She could taste it as fresh as day. His scream, brutally cut off, still rang in her ears. Haunted. Was that what this was? Marcel haunting her? Refusing to let her go, to live out her life in peace. Was this her penance? The scream morphed, twisting into the howling voices of her teammates. 

“Ymir!” Something soft and fast struck her cheek. Her eyes snapped open and struggled to readjust to the scene in front of her. Krista pulled at her jacket, shaking Ymir with everything she had. “We’ve got to go!” 

The titan was almost on top of them. Did it even matter? Ymir started at her palm. She knew every line, every scar. A selfless person would use their power to help, to save the lives of the soldiers dying in the heat of battle. But she wasn’t selfless. She had her own interests at heart. 

On Krista’s command, Ymir fled. 

Watching the titans overrun the city, guilt clouded her mind. Was this why Marcel had to die? So that she could gain an incredible power, only to keep it to herself and watch more people suffer? 

Ymir ran a hand through her windblown hair. She wasn’t selfless. She’d known this for a long time. But was she so selfish that she was okay with watching others die? First it was Marcel. Then the soldiers of Trost. When would she find it in herself to rise up?


End file.
